FLAMMENWERFERS WERF FLAMMEN. LOOK IT UP.

4 bloggers like this post.
    • January 5th, 2011

    I want to have your babies and eat them too!

      • January 5th, 2011

      They would surely be a rich source of vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and essential fats.

      But I think it’d be cheaper to just by groceries, and less frowned upon by society.

      • Dennis
      • January 5th, 2011

      Dude, you should check out Johnathan Swift’s publications

    • Konfacela
    • January 5th, 2011

    Where’s the fucking Facebook Like button when you need it. Fuck.

      • January 5th, 2011

      I can’t figure out how to get the thing to play nice with wordpress.com :(

      Wait, I’m just an idiot. There we go.

    • January 5th, 2011

    I really, REALLY need to figure out how to use the phrase “harden-the-fuck-up pie” in a meeting at work.

    Thanks for the great site!

    • January 5th, 2011

    You are totally my hero. I seriously cannot stop laughing. :)

    • January 5th, 2011

    The two phrases I shall take with me, and use proudly, are “sweet magic tampon” and “holy steaming shitcastles.”

    Thank you for this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    • January 5th, 2011

    I bet I could take that little round grey bitch.

    With my fucking vaccinations. (Seriously, best delivery system ever. Although you shouldn’t ask about the adjuvant.)

    • Tae
    • January 5th, 2011

    Keep going, that stuff is hilarious :D

    • January 5th, 2011

    Holy Fucking shit! My ass was just got done shitting up shit from having the shit kicked out of it by science!

      • January 5th, 2011

      I’d get that looked at. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure asses should fire shit down, not up … regardless of whether said shit is ejected via kicks or more traditional means.

    • January 5th, 2011

    I fucking love blog :)
    Well, I probably just should not read it before a conference or lab meeting, to avoid using “fucking” “shit” and other good words and sentences that you use :)

      • January 5th, 2011

      If you do swear by accident, just stare them down and tell them to get back to work. AFTER they’ve made you a coffee.

    • Zmidponk
    • January 5th, 2011

    I think this is a perfect lesson in how to sell science to dumb fuckers. Of course, it’s also a good laugh to intelligent fuckers. I refuse to admit which category I fall into.

      • January 5th, 2011

      I don’t think theres any real dumb fuckers out there, just people who are knowledge whores, and people who keep their legs of learning firmly shut.

      Me, I’ll take all the knowledge you got and thank you for it.

    • Deacon Razorblades
    • January 5th, 2011

    I imagine a thug-walking white kid in a lab coat spilling this mind candy when I read your blog. Fantastical to say the least. I already love molecular biology and biochemistry, but reading this shit is mind fuckingly glorious. Keep it up, because a lot of people are thinking the same thing I am.

    • January 5th, 2011

    We’re reading your blog and every one of us was like HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS BITCH CAN WRITE. But sadly you haven’t written enough. So can you get your lazy ass out of bed and write a fuckton more about shit we don’t know? And the illustrations. They may us laugh. Best one was the arrow to the nucleus that said “Look at this bitch nucleus cowering in the corner fuck that’s what Id do Id sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and hope that this mean bitch doesn’t look my way.” That made us squirt like a horse on Lasix.

    When you start with the goats*x we’ll give you an hon. mention.

    • Anonymous
    • January 5th, 2011

    Flammenwerfer werfen Flammen, Arschloch. Und auch, ich liebe Sie und will, dass Sie mein Baby bekommen.

    • Big McLargeHuge
    • January 5th, 2011

    Holy shit. I cannot stop laughing. I really, really hope you keep updating this website because it’s beyond funny.

    • Guybob
    • January 5th, 2011

    “half of them couldnt find their ass with an atlas, both hands and a group of skilled native trackers.”

    Hillarity at it’s best. gahahahahaha.

    • teadoust
    • January 5th, 2011

    i concede: you are indeed a funny motherfucker.

    • El Generalissimo
    • January 5th, 2011

    Somewhere in Europe, Jacques Benveniste is crying himself to sleep.

      • January 5th, 2011

      Let him cry. He cannot stop the division of Humor Panzers from leveling his beloved countryside. This is SCIENCE, dammit! Relentless, unstoppable, and merciless, and the DNA Bitch is our Shock Troops of Love.

    • Tabs
    • January 5th, 2011

    Awesome work good sir. Well done. You’re just lucky you don’t livee near me or I may have kissed you for this one!

    • Ottery St.Catchpole
    • January 5th, 2011

    You are made of WIN! Blog on!

    • Erica
    • January 5th, 2011

    Brilliant, thank you!

    • January 5th, 2011

    If science had been this much fun in high school, I never would have dropped out! When do we learn about meth?

    • Panda
    • January 5th, 2011

    Great public service announcement!!! My fave is the t cell one!! Keep it going!

    • January 5th, 2011

    Epic work, Dave, well done. :D You certainly deserve all of this attention, FINALLY.

    GODDAMN INTERNET DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE COCKARSE IT WAS MISSING

    • whatever
    • January 5th, 2011

    If you’re lucky he might get some illness, disease and/or ADHD like my brother did!

      • Drtaylay
      • January 6th, 2011

      Please tell me you’re not seriously one of those fuckwits that thinks that vaccines cause autism or some bullshit.

      Because I might need to unload a metric shitton of perforin on your ass.

        • January 6th, 2011

        I have absolutey no idea how you got there from here, but no, I don’t think vaccines cause autism because I’m not a dribbling fuckwit nor am I getting paid to falsify test results like a certain cretin that got his medical license revoked not too long back

        • Hope
        • January 6th, 2011

        stimulusresponse :
        I have absolutey no idea how you got there from here, but no, I don’t think vaccines cause autism because I’m not a dribbling fuckwit nor am I getting paid to falsify test results like a certain cretin that got his medical license revoked not too long back

        Stimulusresponse, I believe Drtaylay was responding to Whatever, and not to your brilliant work here. :)

        Which is made of awesome, and pie. With awesome sauce.

        • Drtaylay
        • January 6th, 2011

        Baby I would never get that from anything you said, we are soulmates, meant to be like a light and heavy chain of an IgG. I was definately talking to whatever!

    • sherlock
    • January 5th, 2011

    I want to share this with my students, but most of them would find it deeply offensive and I’d get fired. (Community College in the Deep South)

      • Vagon
      • January 5th, 2011

      I’d say use your imagination to get it out to them anon style but it wouldnt work bro, the kids are into what ever ripped off power rangers after that shitty show ripped off voltron.

        • sherlock
        • January 6th, 2011

        I’ve got one who is so into anime he can’t stop staring into space, screwing up in lab, and asking questions that tell me he hasn’t listened to a word I just said. I thought he was a dim-witted mouth-breathing moron until he wrote something insightful in complete sentences on an exam…a feat few high school graduates can accomplish these days. I have nothing against anime (don’t know enough about it to be it’s enemy), but I am sure of one thing; it can’t possibly be more interesting than science.

    • wsargent
    • January 5th, 2011

    MEASLES! FUCK YEAH!

    • ausduck
    • January 5th, 2011

    Thank you for making me laugh so much! I am not only in awe of the shock troops of science but I’m also learning new and interesting uses of language :)

    Hell, I may even go and do that science degree – never say fucking never!

    • Chris
    • January 5th, 2011

    Finally, I can get my fifth-graders interested in biology! Classic stuff–favorited for sure.

    • Ian
    • January 5th, 2011

    I love you more than you can imagine.

    • Victoria
    • January 5th, 2011

    FUCK, I’m in love.

    • Leah
    • January 5th, 2011

    I used to run a preschool. If I did, I would put your info about measles in the parent info packet. I swear it.

    • Leah
    • January 5th, 2011

    If I *still* did.

    Honestly, my lack of proof-reading skills is not why I am not there anymore. I moved. Seriously.

    • January 5th, 2011

    I wish I could teach the chillun with this shit!!!!

    • Applebite
    • January 5th, 2011

    Holy fucking shit. I’m currently revising virology for my 2nd year exams at uni and I swear I just learnt more off this page than I have from a semester’s worth of notes.

    I’m going to make a suggestion to my lecturers to make the handouts more like this.

    “SWEET MAGIC TAMPON!” << Bet phrase ever.

      • January 5th, 2011

      Good luck with your exams!

    • January 6th, 2011

    I may have already said this, but I think you’re a fucking genious. 4 Real.

    • Ryan
    • January 6th, 2011

    This bat-shit is off tha motha fuckin dna chain, bitch! Keep makin this shit like a boss.

    • grrrlgeek
    • January 6th, 2011

    I posted this on FB and some fucking whiny ass medical conspiracy ant-vax cunt fucking flounced from my profile. Flounce=post a farewell before defriending/blocking. She actually blocked me and apparently tried to get others to do the same. They told her to get fucked.

    SCIENCE!

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